that i post angry thoughts on this blog. well i'd like to comment on that...
it's true, i do post angry thoughts when i post. in fact i could be nicknamed angry jhb...because all i do is rant and rave....but i do it for good reasons...one is for historical reasons so i can go back and read what i was thinking at that moment in time. sometimes it's an eye opener. as time goes by i tend to water down my intensity i posted in my memory...and then when i go back and reread what i typed...i find my memory doesn't always do it justice. it's a bit of a self social experiment. i do tend to hold back quite a bit in posting. many times i type out a really nasty offensive posts and delete it before it becomes permanent. basically it all depends on my mood and how much energy i have when i am typing. i'd be lying if i said typing really nasty stuff didn't feel good, whether i post it or delete it.
it's like keeping sane therapy, sometimes. getting anger off my chest makes me feel better and i find typing it out into the world, whether read by people or not, works.
so yes i am an angry individual...but i'm not so angry about the gop and bankers....i mean i am, but what really angers me on a daily basis is stupidity. now i'm not saying i'm the shaprest knife in the drawer...in fact i'm rather dull....more like an old rusty serated blade that has been used on bone for many years.....but what bothers me is that so many people think they are so smart and yet they do the stupidest things daily.
this internal rage over stupid people makes me wonder what is the line between handling it and not handling it. daily my blood boils over little events. case in point road rage.
i tend to road rage daily now. to the point where i not only scream and curse and yell, but lately i find myself pointing at people who do amazingly stupid things in cars and invite them to pull over and fight over it in person. luckily no one has taken me up on my offers, but i have come to realize in the last few months that if someone did pull over i wouldn't flee, i'd fight. which seems silly as i know these events as infuriating as they are, are not worth fighting over.
i don't know if this change in me is due to the population increasing where i live and instead of more good smart people we are getting more stupid and worthless people everyday or if people have become so selfish and arrogant that i can't ignore it anymore....or if this recession and all the cry babying that is going on is startring to get to me(newsflash whiners, everyone has it hard this time around), or if i am starting to lose my grip on reality. maybe a combination of all four....but one things for sure...while i am not a ticking time bomb and i will not go out and do anything stupid....i feel driven to fight back more and more on a daily basis.
sometimes i just have had enough bullshit.
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2 comments:
I hear you loud and clear. It is so frustrating to deal with the stupidity out there. It's enough to make your head explode.
Some of this stuff sparked a sense of recognition inside me. The anger (minus the road rage--I get mild cases of that sometimes but it's not horrible) especially. No, not so much anger . . . irritation, frustration. Milder forms of true anger.
I've been doing a lot of introspection lately, but your way is probably more helpful. I used to write only when I was sad or angry--not that I didn't have equally happy moments, but I only felt the need to write when I was upset. I realized that was probably not the stuff people wanted to read, so I toned it down. Now I try to keep personal stuff out of my journal as much as possible and just write the things that everyone can relate to or have opinions on.
The point is that your entries are interesting regardless of what you write about--so long as you keep writing about interesting things, whatever makes you want to write (things you're angry about, in your case) is moot.
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